Wings
by Corvus corone
Summary: Everyone at Gakuen Alice seems to have grown wings overnight. Very AU, crack!fic. Also contains very slight Naru/Misaki, but don't let that put you off! Do read the health warning and author's note inside...


**Disclaimer**: I wish I owned a pair of wings. And Gakuen Alice. Unfortunately, I don't, so I write fanfic about it instead.

**Health Warning**: May contain undertones of Narumi/Misaki. If you no like, skip the first page down until the first XXX. You'll be missing out on some good stuff, though. It's also very AU.

**Author's Note **(I'm not a big fan of these, but hey): Just a random little oneshot. Very, very AU. I may be doing a few more of these in the future - if you have any cool ideas for me to AU-ly oneshot about, please tell.

XXX

XXX

Misaki woke up in the middle of the night draped over Narumi's back with his mouth full of feathers. Choking a little, he spat out a few fluffy bits and poked the feathery mass in front of him. He didn't remember going to sleep on top of this thing … In fact, he distinctly remembered telling Narumi to put his pink feather boa in his closet (not Misaki's, or in his underwear drawer or something) before coming to bed, and besides, that was last week. Not last night.

He had been poking the feathery blob for quite some time before he realised it was actually _attached _to Narumi's back. How very strange. Now that he looked a bit closer, Misaki realised it seemed as if Narumi had grown … wings? As if possessed by a sudden wave of energy, he slapped Narumi across the face repeatedly, rather viciously, to wake him up and turned on the light.

"Hu – huh?" mumbled Narumi, sleepily.

"You have wings on your back. No, seriously. Look."

After five minutes of snuffling back to sleep and several more wake-up slaps, Narumi managed to sit up. He touched one of the wings hesitantly and surprised both of them by flapping it violently.

"Er, sorry, it just shocked me. I can feel these things!"

Looking quite proud of himself, he sat up properly and flapped both wings about. "Do you think I could fly with these?" he asked Misaki in a hopeful tone.

"You could try. Don't blame me if you break your neck jumping out of the window, though. And you might want to put on some clothes."

Narumi considered this briefly. "Nice colour, though! My wings, I mean."

"Yes; now you won't have to wear that sign saying 'I want to be a girl!'" Misaki deadpanned, eying the pale purply-pink shade. It would have looked nice on Barbie's next miniskirt.

"Well it's better than your boring brown ones," Narumi replied, pouting.

Misaki made a kind of "bleurgh!" sound and looked at his own back in panic. He "bleurgh!"ed again and exclaimed, "Why didn't you tell me I had them earlier?!"

"Oh. I thought you already knew. Anyway, if mine say 'I'm gay for you' (that's you, Mimi-chan, not anyone else), yours say something like … er … 'I'm boring'," Narumi replied, studying his own wings and therefore not having enough brainpower left to think of a witty comment.

Misaki looked rather scandalised at being called 'Mimi-chan', tried to move his own boring dark brown wings, and opened one into Narumi's face.

XXX

It turned out that everyone in the academy had grown wings overnight. Some were more exciting than others.

"How come that idiot Tsubasa has bat wings while I'm stuck with THESE stupid things!" shouted Misaki Harada, pointing angrily at her fairy-like butterfly wings. Tsubasa laughed. Misaki hit him on the head with a nearby Physics textbook.

XXX

It also turned out that they _could_ be used for flying, as one adventurous toddler found out, running at full tilt down the playing fields and eventually taking off.

Kitsuneme was less than pleased. "Oh man, now my Alice is going to be useless!" He refused to use his wings for flying, and actively showed off how he could twirl about in the air without opening them.

XXX

Natsume was in a bad mood. He had woken up late, found that he had somehow fallen out of bed and with a bunch of black feathers shoved into his shoulder. He had then tried to get rid of his anger by burning away the feathers before realising that they were actually attached to him. Thus, they didn't catch fire and his annoyance had simply spiralled upwards.

An unfortunate pigtailed girl sailed into him while showing off her cute white wings and exclaimed in a loud, high-pitched voice, "Natsume!! Look, I have wings! So does my Hotaru! Oh, you have them too! This is so COOL! Why aren't you smiling today?!"

He set fire to one of her spotlessly white wings while she wasn't looking, and walked off.

"NATSUME, YOU JERK!!"

XXX

Hotaru had decided not to risk her precious life by flying just yet. Mikan was testing that for her, anyway. Instead, she started work on a new invention – "Teddy Bear Protective Landing, Version 0.1" – as her pending patent said, its uses were "to provide the user with a soft, safe landing should they happen to fall from any height, however, the Automatic Idiot Detector (patented) will prevent the aforementioned action from happening should an idiot be using this device."

Mikan could test this device too. Hopefully she wouldn't be too much of an idiot when she did.

XXX

Luca's bunny had been nibbling on his wings while he had been sleeping. Apparently they exuded even more pheromones than his body.

XXX

Sumire's wings were very small. After moaning for a while, she discovered it was because she wouldn't have been able to run properly when she was in her cat-dog form with larger wings. Then she immediately cheered up, and was even more so when she learnt that she could still fly well with small wings.

XXX

The school principals were very happy too. It transpired that _every_ person with an Alice now had wings! This made it much easier to see who had an Alice and therefore force them into the Academy.

So they all (except the babies who had wings and consequently had to be sent off to Alice Academy and their parents, and Jinno, who thought that his wings made him look silly) lived happily ever after. Yay!


End file.
